My husband went on his annual “Mancation” golf trip a couple weekends ago. Despite a pandemic, 8 friends decided to stay closer to home but still get away to have some fun and get some golf in. This has now been an annual event for about 9 years. The group changes somewhat but the way that they plan and organize it is simplistic. I know my husband comes home relaxed and fulfilled by a weekend of testosterone bro-bonding. I’m sure there are always a lot of shenanigans that we don’t hear about and would rather not know.
This brought me to ask one of my close girlfriends when the last time she went on a girls trip was (her husband is also an annual Mancationer). She looked at me and thought and thought and thought some more. I chuckled and said, “See – case in point.”
The last time I went on a girls trip was three summers ago. A wonderful three nights away with a group of ladies (most of whom really didn’t know each other well) for a wine tour weekend in the Okanagan. It was such a lovely weekend.
My husband constantly says, “Go! I’d love for you to have time away with your girlfriends.” I know he truly means it. He is very supportive that way. However, its easier said than done to get a group of women together for a fun weekend away. It pains my heart really because it is so good for us as women to get away from our day to day lives to laugh together. It makes us better. I really does. So why is it so hard for women to let go and GO?
In my experience the number one reason is likely an unsupportive partner OR not having a partner (way harder for the single mama’s) OR having a supportive partner but not allowing oneself to leave them in charge for two or three nights. Some women feel that they need to micro-manage every last detail of their family. I get it! Its tough…
When I go for a weekend. It does take some prep work. Making sure the fridge is stocked, the kids’ schedules are sorted and organized, the laundry is done and the house is in order. Sometimes by the time you set sail, you wonder if you’ll be too tired to even enjoy yourself. However, I don’t do everything. I definitely expect my family to help out. This means figuring out their own meals, making their own plans and how to get there (if outside the regular scheduled program), keeping pets alive and the house in a generally human state. Chris always does his best (which is not the same as my best – haha!) but I really do appreciate the efforts. I have yet to come home from a girls trip without a meal waiting for me when I arrive and the house tidy. Its a partnership. Its give a little, give a little in return. I think its the way marriage should work. Partners in crime.
The second reason that holds women back is finance. This is how my husbands group does it: Each year, someone new is the organizer. They make the reservations and then email the group and have a deadline for them to give the deposit on the trip. If the person ends up not going, too bad so sad, they don’t get the refund back because that increases the cost to the others. Then when they go to eat, they only get one tab. They all throw their credit cards onto the table and the server gets to choose two. Those two split the bill and then they are eliminated from the pile on the next round until everyone has had a turn. Easy and no hassle.
So many times I’ve tried to plan a girls trip, women don’t want to spend the money. This even when their husbands have NO problem spending money on guys trips and lunches out and and and… I’m not sure where that comes from or why – but its definitely something that I have experienced among my lady friends.
Third, I think that a lot of women just have a hard time leaving their households behind. Its somewhat of a control issue maybe? Or maybe that they will come home and end up having to “pay for” being away for a few nights with a disaster to come home to. Which brings me back to number one.
Girls trips are something that I need. It fills my cup. Its a pandemic so this isn’t something I plan to do now, but I’ve been doing my research. Although I would love to do get aways with my own friends because its also nice to have those conversations over wine with people who know your life, its been three years since I’ve been able to get a group together to go away and I’m done with trying! I hope you know who you are by the way… I’m talkin’ to YOU!
There are tons of women’s travel groups all over the world! Adventure groups, hiking groups, tour groups. All women who want the camaraderie of other women who want to travel and explore and have fun and connect! The more I researched, the more excited I became! So this is definitely something I am going to pursue once its safe to do so.
But this leads me to wonder… am I the only one in this position? I do see other female acquaintances on my social media who seem to go on a lot of girls trips? What do you think? What is your experience? Can you relate to any of what I have experienced? I’d love for you to share!
~xx Olivia