Thankful?

Its 10:30pm on Saturday night. I’m waiting for my daughter to be home from work. I was up early to go on a beautiful rainy day hike with my husband and friends. I had an amazing day. I had dinner with a dear friend with warm, familiar company and conversation. Today, and every single day, I am thankful. Not one day do I take for granted. The blessings in my life are infinite.

Earlier, as I got into my warm bedtime bath, I was feeling emotional. I miss my family. My brother and his wife and their two kids will be spending Thanksgiving alone this year. And so are we.

We get to see my brother and his family once a year. They live in Ontario. That’s a long way from here. The last Christmas we spent together was 11 years ago. Thanksgiving… can’t even remember. I miss them so much it literally hurts. My nephew and niece have grown so much and so much changes in one year.

Covid. Covid has taken my family away this year.

So yes, while I am seeing so many people celebrate this Thanksgiving no differently than any other, I feel beyond frustrated. It is these people who will make one year without seeing my family turn to two.

Sure, we have “no” cases here. Some think its a conspiracy, some think it won’t kill them but all the “reasons” don’t even matter. Those reasons don’t change the fact that I can’t get to my family and they can’t get to us.

All of those “reasons” It don’t change the fact that I lost a business, my daughter lost her graduation, my kids are both schooling from home and that we have to wear masks. The virus will eventually make its way here. Those of us who are taking precautions and following “the rules” to protect ourselves and loved ones are making sacrifices. We are being self-less… not self-ish.

Missing one Thanksgiving, one Christmas, wearing a mask even where its not mandatory and following the guidelines makes all the difference between me seeing my family next summer or not. While people are gathering with others that they usually feel only “obliged” to share a dry turkey with and subpar mash-potatoes means I might not get to see my family for another year. I hope its worth it.

So what is everyone really thankful for? For us, Thanksgiving is just another day. It always has been. Why? Because we practice gratitude each and every day. Every single day before my feet hit the ground out of bed, I give thanks. Every single day, when my girls have a complaint, I remind them of what to be thankful for. So no, Thanksgiving is not a big deal. A dry turkey and an obligatory meal has no meaning.

In the beginning of this pandemic, many, including me were so hopeful that we would see a big change in humanity. I think we did… at first. But old habits die hard. The toilet paper hoarding has started again. People are worse than ever with their belittling comments on social media, their protesting of “freedoms”. Looking out from inside my bubble, the world seems to have more hate than ever.

So, I hope to all the people who didn’t stop for one second to think about all of us who are separated from our family, those who can’t see their elderly family members in homes due to covid enjoy their overstuffed belly’s and turkey leftovers. I hope they took more than 30 seconds to actually think about what they are truly grateful for. I hope that prolonging this pandemic is worth their dry turkey.

Fuck that – I hope they choke on the wish bone.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.